Hey Bartender

SINCE BECOMING A Richmond bartender, I've gotten a lot of requests for liquors and liqueurs that you don't see very often at your local bar. I shouldn't be surprised by this because our media-driven society tends to react to products endorsed by entertainment and sports celebrities. Obviously, if these people say something is good, then every bar should have it on hand in the unlikely event that one of them shows up for a drink. I'm always amused when someone asks if we have the latest thing they've recently seen on television. Trust me when I say that it takes more than clever marketing to sway the decision makers where I work to determine whether we'll have something new on our bar. Today, I'd like to look at a couple of things that have been requested lately. I think that people think these things are cool because their names contain the word black. This word tends to give things a certain mystique and allure. When I get requests for this latest trend in alcohol, I tend to giggle -- aloud.

Jose Cuervo Black Medallion is a super-premium Añejo Tequila. That means that it is aged for a minimum of one year, but less than three years in a small oak barrel. What makes it different is that the barrels are charred on the inside to remove impurities and give it a deeper oak flavor. It no doubt darkens the color of the finished product giving it the kind of appeal that Pepe Lopez could never imagine. Keep in mind that its color is not black, it's just slightly darker than gold Tequila. The marketers of this fine product claim that it's designed to appeal to your palate as it ages and matures. If that's the case, why do commercials depict it being consumed as a cocktail mixed with Coca-Cola when mature palates tend to drink aged spirits neat?

Not to be out done, Absolut has a product called Absolut 100. It's a smooth, super-premium vodka made exclusively with natural ingredients. It has no added sugar and is said to have distinct spicy notes that are luxuriously smooth and fresh with a velvety texture. Absolut 100 commemorates the 100th anniversary of Absolut Rent Bränvin, which was introduced by Lars Olsson Smith in 1879. It was made using a continuous distillation process that was an extreme deviation from the accepted practice at the time. The use of water free of impurities and winter wheat, a grain that grows under the snows of Sweden gives this unique vodka its distinctive taste. Oddly, only the bottle is black. The vodka is as crystal clear as most other vodkas, so it won't make your cocktails look cool or dark.

Snobby bartenders everywhere cringe when someone orders Cognac with Coca-Cola, ginger-ale, grenadine, or anything else. Sadly, Hennessy is promoting this trend with the introduction of Hennessy Black. Like Absolut 100, the bottle is black, yet the contents are not. It's made by blending 45 different eaux-de-vie that are aged for about two and a half years in mature oak casks. You may recall from previous posts that eaux-de-vie is a colorless fruit brandy that is produced by fermentation and double distillation. Raspberries, cherries, strawberries, and other fruits are used to make eaux-de-vie, but to make Cognac or brandy, grapes are used. Hennessy Black is the youngest Cognac that you can get your hands on. Its youthfulness lends itself to the types of cocktails it is used to make. Yes, this stuff was developed with the idea of mixing it with 7-Up, Coca-Cola, and fruit juices. When I sampled it, I was surprised to find hints of orange on the nose. It's quite light with grapes, citrus fruit and honey on the palate. It's not bad on its own, but I refused to mix it with anything, so I can't say whether it mixes well with the standard mixers. Quite a few friends have said that they liked it with cola. I'll just have to take their word for it.

By now you're probably wondering if any of these new black spirits are actually black. I finally found one that is at least dark. It's called Malibu Black. What sets it apart from its original namesake is a boost in alcohol content. For those who wonder why they were able to drink Malibu Rum like it was water, it's because its ABV is a meager 21%. Malibu Black raises the bar by weighing in at 35% ABV or 70 proof. It's amber in color with a hint of coconut. The idea was to introduce a stronger version of the original. I'm not a fan of coconut, but I tried it just for fun. Compared to the original, it is stronger and it gives all those cocktails that use Malibu rum the punch that it was always missing.

So, there you have it, black -- unfaded!! The point of this post was to prove once again that cool packaging and celebrity endorsements don't make things good. I love the way the Hennessey Black and Absolut 100 bottles look, but no amount of marketing is going to make them taste better than similar products that I already enjoy. Of the four products that I discussed, only Malibu is an improvement over its predecessor. But like anything else in life, only you can decide what tastes good to you. Just don't let the fancy container or the cool person you'll never meet convince you that it's the best thing since the invention of ice cubes. As always, whether you imbibe black or otherwise, please do so responsibly. Until next time...prosit!!!